Penny walks on stage towards Shledon, the audience is snickering”What are you doing Sheldon” The audience bursts into laughter “Oh nothing, just installing some RAM” The audience is falling over now, punching themselves in the stomach from laughter “Why” The laughter dies down a bit “I just upgraded my OS to 64bit, it can handle more than 3 gigabytes now” At this point the audience becomes a single entity, their laughter merging, building, it creates a black hole and rips a hole in the time space continuum. “Hey Sheldon, wanna see the new Harry Potter movie?” The audience chuckles nervously “No, Harry Potter is for children. I prefer realistic and dramatic films, such as Star Wars.” The audience laughs heartily “Luke, I am your father!” The audience begins laughing so hard they burst into flame and their lungs explode. They start pissing themselves from laughter, which fails to put out the flames but makes everything smell like burnt hair and urine. An older gentleman has a heart attack and dies on the floor, burning and covered in piss. The earth trembles below the studio, opening a gaping crack into the underbelly of the earth. Several members of the audience are dragged into the blackness, laughing so hard blood spills from their mouths as they descend into the molten core of the earth, smashing into the rock as they fall. The continued laughter echoes off the rock, causing the largest known earthquake in history, crippling the powergrids of several of the world’s major cities, plunging humankind into darkness for weeks. Martial law is called into effect as the riots increase in size and aggressiveness. As food begins to run out, half of the world’s populace is dead, with the survivors now resorting to cannibalism and subsistence farming. “Hey Sheldon, what are you doing?” The audience chuckles lightly “Not much.” Several audience members faint and are carried to the hospital. “Oh, ok then.” Burbank is rattled by explosions of nuclear magnitude. Somehow, though, the studio survives. Several audience members are walking on the ceiling. Another several have hung themselves from the rafters, unable to cope with not having the oxygen to laugh forever. Still others have been drawn and quartered, to be displayed outside of the studio gates. “Hey, Sheldon.” The audience laughs loudly. “Bazinga!” The audience explodes into laughter. The building shakes slightly, and paramedics are put on standby (with earplugs in). The cast stands around awkwardly for roughly 5 minutes for it to calm down, each battling the urge to laugh. “Windows 7.” The paramedics are pre-emptively deployed. The audience scream in laughter and the building starts rattling uncontrollably. Blood runs from most audience members noses and eyes as their brain haemorrhages under the hilarity. Urine streams down the legs of most people as janitors hastily attempt to mop it, to no avail. The vibrations trigger an earthquake that causes huge amounts of damage across California. The earth stops orbiting the sun, and immediately plummets into it’s fiery depths. |
Some funny Big Bang Theory transcripts. i got these off another cool website, and thought I would put these together to make a funny posting for my visitors. I do not watch the Big Theory, I prefer to watch Star trek and Stargate Universe, but now that the adventures of the crew of the Ancient`s spaceship has been cancelled, what else will they replace it with? Shows like this are what make television bearable, even though television is becoming unbearable with thousands of reality television shows that are scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas, I miss the old Big Brother shows with the contestants packed into the Big Brother house and a weekly elimination until the last victor remains to take the million dollars. What happened to that? Now there are a heap of renovation shows and cooking contests, but no Big Brother!
And movies like transformers 3 are truly terrible as well, the action sequences is all that drives the film, just lots of explosions and shooting, nothing like the classic films such as Citzen Kane and the original King Kong, which was re-made by Peter jackson, but it was not as good as the original. Fay Wray is truly beautiful in that film. The original versions of any films are always the best, no re-make can do them justice by any means whatsoever. The classic version of the King Kong movie has an incredible quality to it that the modern films lack. I am not sure what it is, but any modern film is lacking any true film making talent and dispensing more violence and horror instead of truly scaring the audience.
The Curse of the Mummy`s Tomb is a film that I saw when I was a child and it truly scared me. Nowadays they have too much blood and decapitations instead of horror, such as the horrid descriptions of twisted torture dungeons in the works of Edgar Allen Poe. The Pit and the Pendulum is a classic piece of horror fiction and the stories are sometimes very psychological and get under your skin. The Saw films and Cloverfield are not scary at all, the former film is just mindless brutality and the latter has only one redeeming feature and that is the monster is not shown as much as in other films, the hand-held camera work is very annoying though. I have heard they are planning a movie of the Smurfs, that is shaping up to be just as derivative and cheap as many other films released these days. And also quite satanic. http://www.cuttingedge.org/ce1021.html
At least the Shrek films had many pop-culture references that were very entertaining to see. but Hollywood needs to lift their game and make some better films to entertain the older viewers that are too weary of execrable films like Avatar. Sure the visuals in that film were awesome, but the floating mountains reminded me of the Unreal game from 1998. That had the same sort of floating mountains except they were about 180,000 feet above the planet. And you could still breathe… Doom was a very good game, but the visuals in Unreal blow it away. Especially running at 1920×1200 pixels resolution on a modern machine. It is the best looking 90`s game around.